Ok here goes.....might be a blog---"how I first met alcohol"--
It's my third night at sleep-away camp....oops, I mean Providence College.....and my roommate has been pretty quiet since arriving (with parents who were extremely concerned that I might be a smoker).....and, since this was the Middle Ages, or at least that's what our school thought, we have "lights out" at 11:30 ....and yes, they would have the camp counselors (oops, R.A.s) check....and in case they forgot, they had conveniently located my room 2 doors from the providence College Dean of Discipline (actual title), the unsmiling Father Bond, so we're laying in our unfamiliar bunk beds in the dark, when a loud knock at the door occurs....it's an upperclassman, a sophomore to be exact.....a VERY drunk sophomore to be exact, and he starts screaming about a beer can pyramid. "Quiet down, Fr. Bond will hear you", I say, at which point he steps into the hall ans bellows "Fuck Fr. Bond!! Fr. Bond SUCKS!".....he re-enters and points to some rings on the floor--"This room was the most PISSAH room on the whole campus, and this is where we had our 800 can beer can pyramid.....and you guys have to keep up the tradition....oh, and they have to be ALL BUDWEISER".....to which my shy quiet roommate answers " I like Miller High Life", which enrages the soph-- "SHUT UP!!! It has to be all Budweiser"...picture the look on my little Catholic school altar boy face as I say, as if to calm the lunatic "Yeah, Pete,... it has to be Budweiser,.... everybody knows that". After a few more Fr Bond, you sucks, he decides we're going to his room on other side of the campus for a "starter kit" (It turned out he had 42 Bud tall boy empties for us....after all, he had been back for two days).....I mention "lights out" (foolish, foolish Wildcat) which just makes him louder, the Harkins Hall elevator creaks loudly, the empties wet the paper bags they're in and crash to the floor, each time fueling expectations of an apoplectic Fr. Bond arrival which somehow never occurs, but he's not done yet....nope....we have to stop and wake up every single person on floor (remember P.C basketball star Charlie Crawford not particularly amused) and order them to bring beer cans to our room for whole semester......and he did come back and check several times.....to my terror.....and yes, always bombed....we eventually bested his 880 can pyramid ( I think we approached 1100), until it became just too tempting to open our door, wing a tennis ball into the pyramid, and run out, leaving us to re-assemble the wreckage....and hiding the Schlitz cans on the inside.....so eventually, we had to stop being the most PISSAH room on the campus.